Bright Fear by Mary Jean Chan

Library Officer Helen Bailey gives us insight into her thoughts on Mary Jean Chan's poem, 'Bright Fear.' 

Mary Jean Chan was born and raised in Hong Kong. Bright Fear is their second collection. Bright and brilliant - speaking of fear and love, fear of love, love in fear, love of family, love of poetry - this book is to be treasured.

Presented in three sections: Grief Lessons, Ars Poetica, and Field Notes on a Family, Chan guides the reader through a life of fragility, occlusion and observation. The poems are delicate, tender and often strikingly beautiful. They bring to light the disquiet and dislocation that a known but unspoken queer love has to navigate both within and outside the family.

They also illuminate the daily exhausting experience of being seen to be different and othered. 'EDI for Migrants (I)' describes an instance of being singled out by the moderator in a training session:

I am tired / of speaking into an expectant silence / weary of having to wield / this tongue forcefully to ensure my words land / softly and politely to let her off the hook

Chan's light touch spins huge emotions that rest on your skin like spider silk and remain.

The last but one poem, 'Out' asks:

Can I be myself now? I ask / my parents in a dream

In 'Bright Fear (II)':

The birds had their tongues tied to silver strings as they hung / mid-air in silence.

Chan's images come from everyday life and dreams' wild journeys. Much of the way we all live our lives, but with Chan's extraordinary light, we can see the pain and beauty under the skin. The vulnerable, resilient, exploring human that appears to some to be 'other', but who, with bright fear, throws a net out for us all.